★ A Patriot & Associates Heritage Site ★
The National Museum ofJanuary the Sixth
Nine stops. Roughly forty minutes. Please stay with the group, and please do not get ahead of the guide, as the guide is the only one who knows which rooms we are describing today.
Admission is free. The museum is funded by donation, by the gift shop, and by a source the museum has been advised not to characterise.
9
Stops on the tour
Eleven were proposed
40
Minutes, approximately
Longer if you ask things
0
Exhibits on the aftermath
In preparation
The tour
A schematic of the site. The dotted line is the route. The route is one way.
STOP 01
The Approach
Arrival of the Visitors
Visitors arrived here in great number, having been told to arrive here in great number. The museum has not preserved who told them, as that falls outside the period under interpretation.
Audio guide
Take a moment. Feel the crowd behind you. The crowd behind you is also feeling a crowd behind it.
STOP 02
The Outer Barrier
The Barrier That Moved
A barrier stood at this point. It was subsequently elsewhere. The museum takes no position on the mechanism of its relocation and has found no one willing to take one either.
Audio guide
Barriers, like all structures, have a service life. This one reached the end of its service life at 12:53pm.
STOP 03
The West Terrace
Officers Were Met Here
Officers were met at this threshold by patriots with love in their hearts. The love was administered for several hours. Some of it was administered with a flagpole.
Audio guide
The museum has been asked whether love can be administered with a flagpole. The museum has prepared no answer and would like to move you along to the next stop.
STOP 04
The Window Gallery
An Opening Was Found
This window did not open. It was helped. Conservation staff have preserved the frame, the sill, and the precise shape of the assistance.
Audio guide
Please do not touch the glass. There is no glass. Please do not touch where the glass was.
STOP 05
The Rotunda
The Procession
Visitors moved through this space in a manner the museum has described, in every edition of its guide since 2021, as a procession. No other word has been attempted.
Audio guide
Look up. The painters of this ceiling could not have imagined this day, and the museum has decided that this is a compliment.
STOP 06
The Senate Chamber
The Gentleman in the Furs
A gentleman in furs ascended to this position and beat his chest. The museum has preserved the chest-beating as an expression of civic feeling and has not inquired which feeling.
Audio guide
He is understood to have said something. The acoustics in this chamber are excellent, and the record is silent.
STOP 07
The Speaker's Office
An Offering Was Left
A visitor reclined at this desk. A second visitor left something behind. The museum has elected not to describe what, and respectfully asks that you do not describe it either.
Audio guide
Conservation of this exhibit required measures the museum considers a matter between itself and conservation.
STOP 08
The Chamber Doors
The Doors Held
These doors held. The museum notes this as an achievement of American craftsmanship and does not record what they were holding, or from whom, or for how long, or what was being said through them.
Audio guide
Run your hand along the grain. This is white oak. White oak is extremely strong, which on this occasion mattered.
STOP 09
The East Lawn
A Structure Was Erected
A wooden structure stood here with a rope attached. Its purpose is disputed, principally by the people who built it, who have each described it as a prop, a symbol, and a joke, in that order and on separate occasions.
Audio guide
The museum has reconstructed the structure at one third scale, so that children may enjoy it without understanding it.
Our charter
We preserve
Every artefact recovered from the site, including four hundred and eleven flags, one lectern, and a quantity of glass that is still being counted.
We interpret
Each exhibit is accompanied by a plaque. Each plaque has been reviewed by the Office of Origin and Disclosure and returned with the verbs softened.
We do not judge
The museum holds no view on the events of the day. The museum holds a gift shop, a cafe, and a position it has asked us not to print.
We welcome all
Admission is free to the public, to schools, and to anyone who was present, who receive a lanyard marking them as a Living Exhibit.
Not in the collection
The museum publishes its gaps, in the interest of completeness.
- Any exhibit covering what happened on the seventh.
- Any exhibit covering what happened in the courts, which the museum understands to be ongoing and has understood that since 2021.
- The phrase that begins with the word riot. The museum has a copy and keeps it in a drawer.
- Footage with sound. The museum has footage. The museum has sound. They are displayed in separate wings.
- A list of the officers who were injured. The museum intends to commission one and has intended to since the building opened.
- An explanation of why this museum exists, which visitors ask for more often than any other item on this list.
End of tour
Exit through the gift shop
You have been in the gift shop for some time. The museum is a wing of the gift shop and has been since it opened.
Thank you for visiting. Please return your lanyard, unless you are a Living Exhibit, in which case the lanyard is yours and so is the rest of it.
This museum does not exist. Neither does its charter, its collection, or the lanyard. The day it declines to describe did happen.
Thank you for your attention to this matter