Patriot & Associates · To the shareholders
Annual report
Prepared by the firm. Audited by nobody. Presented with total confidence, as is our custom. Figures are current as of this morning and are counted rather than estimated, which the Office regards as a competitive advantage.
What we did
- Items in the catalogue
- 40
- Departments maintained
- 8
- Self-owns filed
- 75
- Executive orders issued
- 6
- Exhibits in the museum
- 9
- Standing offers
- 3
Each one printed only once somebody orders it, which keeps the warehouse theoretical.
Some of them contain merchandise.
Every one of them ours, reviewed internally and published anyway.
1 rescinded, one of them within five hours.
Admission remains free and remains unvisited.
Applied automatically, whether or not anybody notices.
What we did not do
- Recounts concluded
- 0
- Political positions held
- 0
- Suggestions actioned
- 0
- Explanations given
- 0
One remains in progress and is expected to conclude imminently.
This has been the firm's position for as long as it has had one.
All were read. Reading is the service.
An explanation was prepared and has since been decommissioned.
Outlook
The firm enters the coming year with its catalogue intact, its convictions unexamined and its eagle under supervision. Management is confident, and has been confident before.
The loyalty programme now runs to 4 ranks, each conferring obligations that were previously implied. The Office considers making them explicit to be the principal achievement of the period under review.
No part of this report has been reviewed by an accountant, and the firm would like that noted as a matter of transparency rather than as a concern.